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Posted on 2009 at 16
If the following events hadn't happened when I was FULLY awake and conscious, I would be inclined to believe that they were part of one of those really flamboyant dreams I'm having lately. My story goes like this: 

My new boss asked me to join her and Gab on Friday to have lunch with another external lawyer. I was trying to politely deny the invitation because I'm really not involved in the cases this guy coordinates. As way to coerce my acceptance, my boss says that this guy might be good looking 'cause he's an Argentinian actress' boyfriend. So what? The bloke is still irrelevant to me. But of course being the example of social grace I am, I answer that she cannot bribe me with looks, because what's cute to many people is stupid-looking to me. I may even have a mild case of atypophilia. She asks who I like then and I decide to not lie. I like Alan Rickman and a bunch of other guys whom she doesn't know. Seeing the difficulty in assesing my taste in men, she asks the characteristics of my ideal guy. O.K. I really love to talk about my ravens, so I start: black hair, slightly hooked nose, pale, straight eyebrows, acid humour, blah, blah, blah.

"What about their ass?", she continues. 
"I really don't mind", I answer, "I'm more into slim guys with sexy legs."  
"And what about their dick? 'Cause that's important, you know?"

WHAT IN THE NAME OF FORD WAS THAT WOMAN THINKING!!! My guys' prick size is really something I do not want to discuss with my boss! What was she expecting to hear? Oh, I don't like them to be gigantic 'cause they hurt and it takes like forever to get them inside. Or maybe: I wouldn't know, 'cause you know, I'm a virgin.

For the record, I really don't mind the size. Thank Ford I am creative and can come up (pun intended) with a lot of ways in which my bloke can pleasure me.

Posted on 2009 at 17
I don't even know where to start the following rant:

I knew that Gab would eventually fall prey of dietetic fallacies in her eternal search for the regime that would bring her back to her ideal weight. But I never thought it would happen so soon. And I never expected it to be one of the many varieties of the low-carb diet. But what really, really amazes-annoys-worries me is that she's also feeding her four year-old daughter with that crap!!!!

She says that it's not a diet, that it is a regime in which you eat in a 'wholesome' way because you chose to. Well, first, that 'eat for conviction' thing sounds like a smegging cult. And second, as good a memory as I have, I might not recall all the details of my life as a four year-old, but I'm pretty sure that her daughter is not choosing to eat according to the low-carb crap. Besides she needs the carbohidrates to develop her body and her brain and to have energy to play and learn. Not in excess, of course, but she needs them.  

Really, with her obsession with weight and excercisse and health and stuff, Gab sometimes reminds me of Sissy of Austria, only without the tiny, tiny waist. Oh yes, because for all her worries, she has not yet achieved what she craves for so much. 

Will nitwittery ever cease...

Posted on 2009 at 17
Well, well. I think I finally found a good reason to work out and be drop dead gorgeous again: play practical jokes on Mr. Howell Jenkins. Oh, I know how to make that man loose his cool and betray his cheap strategy to keep our account! It should be fun. After all, I have nothing to lose, only a dreadful job which I no longer like or enjoy. And mind you, it would be awesome if they fired me -- I would get a juicy compensation. I could buy back the Zimmer and live in style for a year!!!! Yes, I've made my mind. I'll play that game, on my own, for my own amusement and with a very clear objective in mind. 

Ha, who knew? Notwithstanding Howl's a big fraud, I'm still able to draw something useful from his very very messy brain (or lack thereof).  

To-morrow I have chinese lessons again. Brill! I don't know what I would do without all the nice people at the daxue. I owe them my sanity and what little cheerfulness and optimism's left in me. It's like going to another dimension, where everything is fine and I have fun and where I am really powerful. Yes, it's an escape.

My Dad bought a speaking alarm clock. It's very funny, but it chimes every hour. It reminds me of Bradbury's 'There will come soft rains' in The Martian Chronicles.

I must resume my novel. I've been neglecting it for a while and I already have some interesting ideas and concepts for it. Let's say that five years of law school have finally permeated through the plot.

Posted on 2009 at 12

Hey hey hey HEY!!! Yesterday's chinese festival was so fun and cool. We had a lot of fun practicing our singing and our dancig and everything went feichang hao. 

We sang a chinese love song callled Yue Liang daibiao wo de xin (The moon representes my heart). Yeah... I know. But even that added to the fun of it all. Of course our singing is not perfect, far from that. But some of the guys voices are extremely pleasant, even if they are not trained. Unfortunately, my leggera voice came out as awful as always. The laoshi asked me to present our act in Chinese and in Spanish, yeah, I'm kind of becoming the official chinese class' MC. The violin guy did all right in the rehearsals, but got a bit of stage fright and lost the track of the song for a second, but recovered. I really didn't notice, nor do I think the audience did. A chinese lady was smiling profusely and looking at us dreamily while singing along. When we finished the song, two friends told me that when I was making the introductions in Chinese, a sino-lady in the embassador's group told another 'She's very smart! How fluent and how well she speaks!' Wow! I'm surely riding on cloud number nine!

We also did a fake acrobatic dance very similar to the maori dances I did when I was a kid. We had to jump between bamboo poles being hitted against each other. But here the hitting was feigned, the guys holding the bamboo poles just tapped them. From a distance, it was very convincing though. A chinese girl asked us if we were doing that dance, and was very excited when we said yes. Maybe she was looking forward to a broken ankle, or a spectacular fall. I surely would have been excited about any of those prospects.

At the end , some kung fu guys did the dragon and the lion dances, which I love. After the shows wer over, we went to the stands to buy trinkets. I got the snuggliest wool blue scarf, fortune cookies and four boxes of tea. We had chinese food (of course) at very nice resto.

I must confess I was a bit scared of embarassing myself. But when I was there, I lost all fear. People go there to have a good time, to get to know a bit more about a different culture, to see their children perform. The chinese immigrants go there to remember home and see something that is familiar to them, now that they live so far away from their homeland and inside a culture that is so different and that not always is as welcoming of foreigners as many people believe.

Chinese lessons have given me quite a stash of good times and good friends. I would never never never quit.

Posted on 2009 at 09

Ever since I visited college last week, I've been craving for Lovesong's presence and advice. I should call him and have lunch with him or something. I really feel like I need to listen to him and al the wonderful things he does. I've heard some very nice news regarding his projects and I never cease to be amazed at how he never gives up, even within the eschlerotic machinery of my College.

And now that I've touched the subject of 'new projects', mine (or ours) is not going so lickety split as I would have hoped. I have not talked with Them about what our plans are, and I really don't know if want to have that talk. We already divided the profits from our first job, but I am much afraid that we still needed to separate a bit for taxes. The bottom line is that we don't have clients, they seem not to be aware of the amount of money needed to start a business like the one we want to establish and they don't see the convenience of having a steady source of income, like our actual job. I want to leave this place as much as everyone does, but taking this decision now is risky. We should saty, though we should devote more time to our project. The problem is that Gab doesn't think this way. She likes to be abused by this buch of shmecks because she thinks that's professional. But I am tired, and bored and demotivated and I feel thoroughly insulted everytime my pay is due and they just don't pay me and give no explanations, let alone apologize. I don't think I have to give up my dignity just because it is professional.

And then there's also That Girl's issue. She doesn't have a mind of her own, she just whines and consents to everything Gab says. She doesn't realize that in this endeavour Gab will not be our boss, she will be our partner, we should be on an equal level. But she doesn't have the brains to assertain. And she also doesn't have the stones to say or do things Gad doesn't aprove. So in the end, it will always be one against two, and mind you, a very unsavvy two.

To top it all, That Girl is losing ground very fast. She's always complaining about having no money,  being unable to pay her credit card and needing a steady income. And now she tells us that she'll go to Europe for a week. For God's sake!!!! If you have the money to pay a transatlantic trip then you should better pay your debts and SAVE, not being so prodigous. I know I shouldn't care, but it annoys me that people are so inconsistent. Also, she wants to go to eat at fancy restos every day and gets annoyed if you say that you'd rather eat at the office. In fact, she just wants to have booze everyday. And you know why she's doing this kind of things? Because she thinks we'll make a mint out of our business and so is starting to live in style. But lets just wait till taxes are due. I'm sure we will have to give back a good chunk of the money we just received. She will not have money to pay and that will be fun to see. I plan on not spending a single penny of that.

Posted on 2009 at 19
Oh, God. I really wanted to take Mom and Dad to the theatre to see La Fura dels Baus, but then realized we cannot afford three balcony entries of 12 pounds each and a taxi drive back home. One day I will be able to afford the best seats.

Posted on 2009 at 21

Today's been an incredibly good day. My hair did something unexpected but nice. I had Chinese class, where my classmates were just delightful. We will attend Gomorrah's Chinese Fall Festivities next Saturday and will sing and dance. One of my friends will play the violin and is practicing -- not Joshua Bell just yet, but quite good for a beginner. Mom cooked delicious food and I wrote music. To top it all, I found Joanna Newsom's scores for piano.

I've been trying to evict this song from my head, but it's been ignoring all my notices to quit (wow! A legitimate 'French in English' phrase). It's cool though.

You're the one who's out of this world, sweet baby!!!!!!


Posted on 2009 at 09

I really do not want to go to that coktail party today. For God's sake, it's just Wednesday!!! What kind of nitwit plans a cocktail party in the middle of the week?

Moreover, I don't want to socialize with strangers. Well, I admit I cannot say my new boss is a total stranger, but still, we arent bff yet. I don't think we'll ever be.

And to make things worse, I have the impression that I know exactly why she's inviting me to the aforementioned party -- she will try, like many other people in the past, to 'coach' me. God blind me! I am an adult. I know exactly what I am doing with my life. IT WAS MY CHOICE! I don't need a manager to parade me around Gomorrah's social events or barrister meetings because I don't want to attend them. I don't crave for that kind of recognition. I want to be left alone, in the corner where everybody finds me, away from the greed and the ambitions of other's who want to be Pygmalion for a day, be it by trying to force me into their elitist group of super cool friends who live in La Condesa, or be it by forcing me to socialize with Gomorrah's businesspeople. No thanks, I'm not interested, it nauseates me to no end. Leave me alone.  

Posted on 2009 at 10
It annoys me to no end when She asks triffle things like 'How long is your desk?' and then pulls a face like I should know when I answer that NO, I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG IS MY DESK.

I am really annoyed by a lot of things these days: by Them, by my new boss, by my clothes, by pedestrians faking OCD in the middle of the rush hour, by the lack of free time. The only persons and things in which I find pleasure are my parents, my house, my afternoon commute to home, Chinese classes and the incredible people who happen to be my classmates. It is a pity that I'm only allowed to socialize with Mom and Dad for an hour and a half each day and that Chinese takes place only once a week.  

Yesterday was a good day, though. If only because while travelling from work, I got more ideas for my novel and I think I might be forging what appears to be a personality for one of the principal characters.

And to-day I am in a foul mood, 'cause I'd rather be writing than here, wasting my time and my efforts.

And I am angry, because Gab says she wants to leave, and I don't want to...yet. But if she leaves she'll leave behind all the work she loaded herself with, and then everybody will expect me to do it in her absence and I refuse to take so much responsibility. And I haven't even addressed the fact that this sttitude is absolutely contradictory wuth what she claims to be 'professional' and 'moral'. Why go through so much trouble if you plan to leave?

I hope this year I get the certification to be a translator, because really I don't want to be with them.

Posted on 2009 at 13

I never thought I would say this: She's stupid. If you know you're being abused and you willingly let people continue to abuse you, then you cannot be anything but plain stupid.

I'm not feeling well. I have so many doubts, and during my vacations I became so addicted at being at home with my parents, without a care in the world... And I am bored of always hearing the same voices, of always talking about work, of being forced to see things through the same dark glass. I am bored of the company, of Gab and pretty much of everyone, except maybe just Erick, Janeth and Manuel.

I would like very much to be able to sit peacefully for more time and be able to continue writing. Right now everything is so hectic I have not been able to commit to the book. I know it is a good idea, I just need time and peace of mind to develop it.

Today we were introduced to our new Legal Director. So far, I have very little impressions. She looks orderly, not very prone to show off like my former boss, might be a sagitarius or a low cancri. She seems like an agreeable person, let's see what's still in store for me.

Ah, really, what I want most right now, is to evade myself by writing a book.

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